Peace at last

The most peace I've felt is when people close to me are all fine and I feel I can just sit. Just sit.

Stuck in the boathouse. Free from work. Free from family. But tied to the reigns of my consciousness. Ready to burst out with truth.

The sun on this autumn day over the harbour is so beautiful it's cheesy.

It aches with beauty.

Beauty is so hard to behold. Better to hide in the shadows, safe and quiet and dark.

An honourable illusion? That when I'm no longer needed, I can rest in peace?

No rest for the wicked. A dualistic solution to the irreconcilable. Ye haa and ta doo daa.

Witness, they say. Watch. Look. See. The clouds pass but there is no need to grab them and turn them to concrete. Those shapes. Shapes.

I need this chaos. I thrive on chaos. I am chaos.

Mathematically speaking.

1+2=3 nice huh

Humpty dumpty had a great fall

Eu. Not phew. More like eugh!

I feel bad. But i felt bad before Brexit. So what is my net feeling? Well i don't have an emotional accountant, so like everyone else looking through their multi-tinted specs at this crazy world i can only say what it looks like to me right now.

I feel bad but also strangely optimistic. There will be a new EU, v2, modelled on something borne out of this crazy brexit chaos. And Britain is now at the forefront of that remodelling process, whether it knows it yet or not. Who knows, maybe this Eton Mess was intended, but let's not go there. Let's just eat our pudding.

Sometimes soft ground shifts below an old stone wall. A crack appears in the wall but then something magical happens. Rain dissolves some of the lime in the mortar and it runs into the cracks filling them. The wall heals itself.

But even if Brexit is more of a chasm than a crack, an old stone wall can collapse completely and you can put it back up again.

But what if you're sitting on the wall when it falls?

Humpty dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
But such a big poo did the tories do
That soft made the landing, eugh eugh!

Strongest of the weak

Being weak is scary.

We are all weak.

Being the strongest of the weak is scary. I want to say, I am weak. But seeing others weaker than myself, I feel obliged to remain "strong"

To take a risk, is to say to someone you are weak and risk them squishing you like a tiny ant.

They have that power. But do you have faith that they will not?

I fear that if i let go, I will lose those weaker than myself, they will sink without by embracing hold.

But i must learn to let them go. They are free to sink or to swim.

We can swim together, but if they grab me what can I do?

We can sink together.

Maybe i am grabbing them, and I want to sink. I am forced to say, look, help, I am with someone I love and I am sinking. We are sinking. What can i do?

Relax and watch it all just happen.

Corporal redundancy

Pervasively ignored

But universally exploited

A product or service that increases corporal redundancy satisfies two markets. Like double-entry accounting, there are two sides.

Product increases corporal redundancy.

Another product must take up the energetic vacuum that this creates.

Simple example:

Machine reduces work effort.

Man exercises less from work. Man goes to gym or does sport to exercise instead.

There is no problem with this in itself. Harmony can be maintained.

But if the saving from the machine is not retained by the worker, then the worker loses the opportunity to maintain a balance, and his corporal redundancy is increased.

Head in the clouds optimism

Ignorance really is bliss.

"Why doesn't every building have magical stairs that convert into lifts?"

"The best things in life are free..." when some hard working person loves you enough and gives you the fruit of their labour.

fuck it.

Ranteramus

That's a proper latin word meaning, we will rant.

People love to rant and to campaign etc. It can be really dull. And to preach. Facebook how to be happy posts. What the fuck, what happy person would spend time preaching happiness on facebook? And who creates all those images with meaningful quotes on them... i mean someone thought "let's make an image of this quote and post it over an suitable photo" I mean they actually spent the time to do this. Why? Do they want to make people happier? Fuck no. They want to advertise their site and get you to donate or whatever so they can be more comfortably miserable, or better still get you to join them and feel better togther. All come togther now for the preachers of happiness. alallalalalal

Then there's the campaigners. This is almost too dull to rant about but i'm going to try. Veggies telling others not to eat meat. Meat eaters telling veggies they're boring tossers. You're all tossers. Let people do what they want. Preaching is the tosser club. Get on with your own shit and shut the fuck up. Nobody wants to know.

I'll make an exception though. If someone or something is being oppressed, then by all means reveal this and take action against it. An animal or person mistreated. Have respect for others and treat them as you'd like to be treated and all that. A lion catches a wilderbeast and there's no uproar. Because the wilderbeast is free, it is not oppressed. A chicken grown for consumption in a tiny cage is oppressed. Don't ask me about free-range it's a grey area but i'm happy to eat it.

Ok getting bored of rant. No just tired. No got one more. Biggie one...

Save the fucking environment. What is the fucking environment? Save the planet? That's like saying "save the atom". It ain't going no-where! It don't give a toss and doesn't need saving. The campaign is pure wegocentiricity. We We We. We must survive. Why? We little apes what have we got over any other animals? A few more grey cells ok. But then what?

Let me tell you a secret. Well it's not a secret but sounds like most people want to stick their heads in the sand on this one. We, whatever we mean by that for now, won't be for much longer. Give it 30 years. 100 max. I sound like a nutter right? Well maybe not. But I keep seeing campaigns for this and that and evolve and heal and all that shit but the reality is we're all going through a huge collective birth pain and there ain't nothing stopping that baby from coming out. That will be the "we" but not the one we know now. Maybe one day that "we" will be an "I" and a very lonely one. Who knows. But the beast will be out. The tech singularity if you want to call it by that stupid name will be on.

Unless you live in the present moment in which case this is irrelevant. But anyone who feels the movement of time is already in the future but resisting it. The process is probably analoguous to the bible's armageddon, the second coming etc, but i've not read that in detail. The science though is simpler, and since it can be explained now there is no need for the hokey pokey stuff.  But i'm in no state to explain well right now. I'm in  rant mode.

World-fixers... fuck it the world is as it is for a reason and you ain't never gonna turn the clock back so get over it. There's only one reason to fix anything, and that is to turn the clock back to before the thing broke. But unless you have invented time travel you're on a losing streak. So get with it.

Respect everything. Honour it. Even the shit out of your arsehole. There is reason in everything. Don't fight it. Go with it. Be happy. And ignore this shit I'm writing, lest I rant myself into an infinite loop.

Space

Suddenly I'm out there, in space, and one thing which guided all my movements has gone, I am free but at the same time lost.
Well not quite in space, I can feel a gentle tug of gravity, the flavour of freedom looms. The weakness of the gravity becomes a focus and holds me in suspension.

It's a crap analogy, but it came to mind through the word space. I have space, lots of it, and now this is scary. I somehow think that if I had no commitments I would embrace the space and fill it. The commitments are like the weak gravity holding me back. Maybe they are not so weak really. They represent a fear passed through generations. I don't know.

Let's go direct.

I am sitting at home and want to finish off a lot of boring work things.

I also want to get on with other stuff I'm interested.

My hand touches the mouse tablet and the cursor jumps to the top of the text so it's all messed up. I lose my train of thought. It doesn't piss me off anymore. I know all these geeks are morons. I know them because I am one. But it pisses me off anyway. Why the fuck, it's so unnecessary. Just fix it you fuckers.

My mother ends an email with "I will need your help.." An urgency to fill the space before someone else does comes back. I get up and start writing this blog.

But I don't pray.

That is the one thing that may help.

And asking for help.

Asking questions.

Questions are powerful.

Statements are pants.

Especially ones that start "I need...." or ones that start "Especially ones that..."

Sucked into a whirlpool of want.

Be free.